Can't Stop This Thing We've Started
by brittanyevans
Summary: When her mother gets sick, Brittany Pierce-Lopez comes back home to Lima to help take care of her. Reconnecting with her old boyfriend Sam was never part of the plan; falling in love with him again certainly wasn't, either. Post Canon.


Brittany remembers everything about falling in love with Sam the first time. She fell hard and fast and deeply, and she never wanted to get back up.

The second time she falls in love with him is no different, just a little bit more complicated.

* * *

Brittany is only back in town for about three hours before she runs into Sam at the Lima Bean, and she can't help it if her first thought when she sees him in line is that it must be fate.

"Brittany Pierce-Lopez, what are you doing here?" Sam asks her with a big dorky smile, pulling her into a hug that feels more like home than her bedroom had.

"My mom is sick," she tells him, trying not to ruin the mood so quickly. She knows it's sad, but it doesn't have to cloud every moment of every day. "And you know how my dad is, so…"

"Oh, Britt," Sam sighs, wrapping his strong arms around her again and pulling her back into his chest. "I had no idea, I'm so sorry."

He presses a gentle kiss into her hairline and Brittany just melts into him.

* * *

They eventually get some coffee and move their reunion over to a secluded table in the corner, where Brittany wants to know everything about what Sam has been up to for the last couple of years.

He has an apartment of his own now; he still works at McKinley; he has Guys Nights with Mr. Schue every Tuesday; and he looks _really_ good. His hair is longer and blonde again to match hers and he's got a bit of stubble covering his chiseled cheeks and jaw line.

Sam looks as handsome as he always has, but different, too. He looks like a man now, and Brittany can't help but wonder how else he's grown since the last time she felt like she knew him.

He also has a girlfriend. Her name is Candice.

"It's not that serious yet," Sam shares, but he's smiling as he talks about her, and Brittany doesn't know why she feels vaguely disappointed. "But I really like her. You'll have to meet her while you're in town."

"Yeah," she says noncommittally. "Maybe."

* * *

Santana calls Brittany that night like she promised she would, and after she apologizes again for not being able to come home with her, she asks Brittany how her first day back went.

"It was okay," she tells her wife as she settles into bed. "Dad remembered to pick me up from the airport and Mom was feeling a bit better today."

Brittany tells Santana about her flight and the other things she did, but she doesn't mention running into Sam.

* * *

Brittany expects to hear from Sam the next day, but she doesn't.

She tries not to be disappointed about it all day, until her phone buzzes around seven and the name that flashes on her screen is Santana's and not his, and then her disappointment becomes too big to hold off.

She can't ignore it after that, not with the guilt weighing her down now, too.

* * *

Sam finally texts her two days later, asking if she wants to come by McKinley for a tour.

Brittany immediately replies back with a _YES!_ , complete with a pink heart emoji, and tells her parents where she's going and when she'll probably be back before she skips out of the house with an extra spring in her step.

* * *

Brittany remembers McKinley feeling smaller when she used to come back after finally leaving, but as she walks inside now, it feels so much bigger.

"It's really different, huh?" Sam comments as she meets her just inside the main doors, greeting her with a warm hug that feels just as good as the first one had.

"It's so big and fancy," Brittany says, totally overwhelmed as she looks around the lobby.

She suddenly feels like she did on her first day at MIT, like she has no business being there. She notices Sam watching her with a small smile and she wonders if it still feels big to him, too, or if he's used to it by now.

He leans into her a bit as they start walking. "I still get lost in here sometimes," Sam whispers to her like he's sharing a secret, and it makes Brittany feel a little less out of place.

* * *

Sam shows her around all their old spots (the auditorium where they became best friends, the hallway where they had their first kiss, the locker room they had their wedding in) and Brittany never stops being amazed at how much it's all changed.

They end their tour at the choir room, just as the New Directions are about to start glee club.

"Can I stay and watch?" she asks him hopefully, and of course Sam doesn't mind.

He waits until everyone has filed in before he introduces her to his kids. He pulls her up to stand with him in front of everyone and the way they're looking at her makes Brittany feel like April Rhodes.

"This is Brittany Pierce-Lopez," he says, and maybe it's just her, but the name doesn't quite roll off his tongue as easily as it did a few days ago. "She used to be in New Directions with me, back in the old days."

Sam's students seem to be fascinated with her, delaying their lesson by asking her a bunch of questions about what McKinley used to be like and what Sam used to be like, too.

"Mr. Evans was _amazing_ ," she tells them, sending Sam a teasing wink when he tries to get her to stop. "He was one of our leading men and we couldn't have won without him, but he was like, _the best_ friend too; always there when you needed him. There's so much I couldn't have gotten through without him." Brittany knows she's gushing, but she can't help it. "I'm sure you guys know all of that though, I bet he's an awesome teacher."

Once she's finished, a couple of the kids ask if she can perform a song for them, but she hasn't sung in years. Everyone else joins in with some begging, but it isn't until Sam offers to sing something with her that Brittany agrees.

Sam instructs the band quietly, and Brittany recognizes the opening cords of _Somethin' Stupid_ immediately. She can't help but match his grin as he takes her hands to dance just like they did the first time; singing the words of the song so easily as they float around the room.

 _And then I go and spoil it all  
By saying something stupid  
Like "I love you."_

Brittany remembers singing this with Sam in an empty classroom years ago; smiling and laughing for the first time in what had felt like forever, just like she's doing now.

She doesn't know if it's the memory of the boy or the man pressed against her right now, but Brittany feels happier in this moment than she has in a while, and all she knows for sure is that it's because of Sam.

 _I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you_ , they finish singing to each other, as the music slowly fades out and blends into clapping.

It takes Brittany a moment to remember where and when they are, before she reluctantly pulls away from Sam and turns back to the students, blushing more than a little bit over everything that just happened.

* * *

 _I think my kids "ship" us_ , Sam tells her later that night when they're texting before bed.

It makes Brittany's heart feel funny. _Why do you think that?_

 _They wouldn't stop asking about you_ , he responds.

 _What did you tell them?_ Brittany is quick to ask, not sure why she wants to know so badly.

Sam takes a minute to answer, those telltale little dots giving him away, but when he finally sends his reply, it's only a single line long; _That you're married to someone else_.

The words hit Brittany like a gut punch and all she can think to text back is a simple; _Yeah_.

* * *

Brittany expects things to be weird between them after that, but Sam doesn't mention it the next time they talk, and she definitely doesn't either, so nothing really changes.

If anything, it just brings them closer.

They start meeting up for morning coffee at the Lima Bean every day, sitting and talking about nothing for an hour before Sam heads to work and Brittany goes back home to help her mother with whatever she needs.

She stops by McKinley to visit Sam on the days when her mother doesn't need her, sitting in on glee club and watching him inspire his kids the way Mr. Schue inspired them. Those days are Brittany's favorite, sitting in the choir room and feeling like a teenager again.

They go to the movies and walk around at the park, and Sam comes over to hang out at her house a lot.

If her parents think it's weird, they never say anything, and Brittany doesn't ask what Candice thinks about it, either.

It all feels so much like the first time – her and Sam attached at the hip and Santana somewhere far away – that it's easy to forget that it's not.

But it's not high school and Brittany's not with Sam.

She's married, to Santana.

Oh, but then Sam says something so funny or so sweet and looks at her in that way he does, and it's just so easy for Brittany to forget about Santana completely.

But then something always reminds her.

* * *

"How come Santana didn't come back with you?" Sam finally asks her almost two weeks later, and it's the first time either of them have said her name.

To her credit, Brittany doesn't choke on her churro at the question, but she does start fiddling with her wedding band as they continue walking through the mall.

"She's in school," she answers after a moment of hesitation, trying to sound casual as she talks about her wife. "She offered to come with me, but I wasn't sure how long I'd be down here and I didn't want her to have to throw away the entire semester."

Sam's quiet for a moment and Brittany glances at him, trying to gauge his reaction.

"That makes sense," he eventually says, sounding like he expected something else, something more. "It sucks you have to deal with this all by yourself, though."

"I'm not by myself." Brittany's fingers are sticky with sugar, but she grabs Sam's pinkie in hers on a whim and gives it a little shake. "You're here with me."

Sam looks at her and smiles, curling his fingers until he's properly holding Brittany's hand. "Yeah, I am."

* * *

When Brittany finally meets Candice, it's as awkward as she knew it would be.

Sam invites her over to have dinner with them at his apartment and Brittany's mother is having a Girls Night with her friends so she has no excuse not to go.

Candice is pretty and she looks like her, in the sense that she's a thin, tallest blonde girl with blue eyes. It doesn't take more than five minutes of talking to her to realize that's where the similarities end.

Brittany immediately decides she doesn't like her and it's obvious Candice feels the same.

It's obvious to _her_ , anyways. Poor sweet Sam doesn't seem to pick up on the tension until after dinner, when Candice drags him into the kitchen for a fight that should have really waited until after Brittany had left.

"She's my _friend_ ," she hears Sam insisting, his attempts at whispering proving pointless when their voices easily drift through to the living room.

Candice scoffs. "She's your _ex-girlfriend_." She says it like it disgusts her.

"It's not like that," Sam tries to say, but even Brittany doesn't really believe it.

"Please, I'm not an idiot," Candice quickly spits right back. "And I'm not blind, either. I see the way you look at her."

Brittany gulps and waits for Sam to rebuff the accusation, but all he says instead is; "Candice, she's _married_."

It's not a denial, a fact that doesn't go unnoticed by any of them. It's quiet for way too long and Brittany swears she can hear her heart beating out of her chest.

"You're in love with her," Candice finally says, making it a statement instead of a question.

Sam doesn't deny that either, nor does he try to stop her when she leaves.

She storms out of the kitchen and into the living room, and Brittany immediately stands up like she thinks Candice might slap or her something.

She doesn't, though, she doesn't even say anything; just gives her a look that makes Brittany want to crawl into a hole and hide and then leaves without another word.

"I'm sorry about that," Sam says meekly when he finally comes out a few minutes later. His hands are stuffed in his pockets and he's looking anywhere but at her; he knows she heard all of it. "I can drive you home if want. It's getting pretty late."

Brittany just nods. "Okay.

* * *

Sam walks Brittany to her door when they get to her house, but he still can't look her.

"Sorry again," he mumbles, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot as they stand on her porch. He finally looks up at her and she sees so many questions swimming in his green eyes. "I just wanted... I wanted the night to be good." He shakes his head and it makes some of his still growing blonde hair fall over his face like a curtain. "I guess I ruined everything, huh?"

Sam looks so sad and small in front of her, and all Brittany can do is lean forward and kiss him.

It's too long to be considered a peck, but it's not much more, either. It's just enough for both of them.

"You didn't ruin anything," Brittany promises him when she pulls away, kissing him again on the cheek and then disappearing into her house before Sam has a chance to react.

* * *

Santana comes home to Lima for Thanksgiving and Brittany should be happier to see her.

She _is_ happy, but not as happy as Santana is, so she tries to fake the difference.

The only thing Brittany is thankful for this Thanksgiving is that Sam is in Kentucky with his family for the holidays and couldn't accept the dinner invitation her mother had extended to him.

"Who's the extra place for?" Santana asks as she sets the table for Whitney, her own mother and father in the den watching the parade with Pierce.

"Samuel," is the distracted answer she gets, most of the older woman's attention on the stuffing she's making. Maribel had offered to help, but Whitney is tired of needing help with everything. "He's over here for dinner every other night as is so I thought I'd invite him. I don't think the poor boy even knows how to reheat the leftovers I send him home with."

Santana's hands still as she processes what Whitney's saying, and she looks over at her sheepish wife when she asks her mother-in-law; "Sam's coming for dinner?"

"He's in Kentucky," Brittany says quietly, forcing herself not to look away from Santana's hard gaze.

"That's right," Whitney sighs, and it's not much of a surprise that she forgot, with all the stress she's been under. "I'm such a scatter brain lately; you can put the extra place setting away, hun." Just like that, it's onto the next thing for her, completely oblivious to the tension she's caused. "Can one of you girls go check to see if anyone needs a refill in there?"

"I got it," Santana offers quickly, her words clipped and her glare pointed as she walks away from her wife.

* * *

Brittany is able to avoid being alone with Santana for the rest of the evening, but once it's time for bed, she has no choice but to face the very tense music.

"Santana," she starts, even though she has no idea what she wants to say yet. Maybe she just wants to break the unbearable silence; anything would be better than this.

"I didn't know you have dinner with Sam every night," is how Santana decides to start her side of the conversation, as she's folding her clothes very aggressively.

"Not _every_ night," Brittany answers weakly from her spot on the bed, and she definitely decides not to tell her wife that their coffee dates are that frequent, though.

"I didn't even know you were hanging out with him at all." Santana's tone is more pointed now, and it makes Brittany want to shrink into herself. "You never mentioned it."

Brittany toys with her wedding band nervously as she tries to find something to say that will make this better but isn't an outright lie. "It's not like I was purposely trying to hide it from you," is what she goes with, even thought it fits neither of the criteria. "It just... never came up."

"Oh yeah, sure, Britt," Santana scoffs, her voice raising just a bit before she catches herself and remembers her in-laws are just down the hall. "I'm sure there was never once, in _all_ the phone and text and Skype conversations we've had this past _month_ , a reason to mention to your _wife_ , that you've been constantly hanging out with your _ex-boyfriend_."

Santana is right, but Brittany still bristles at her tone. "First of all, we don't hang out constantly." Another lie. "And second, we have hardly talked all that much."

"And whose fault is that?" Santana shoots right back, throwing her last shirt into her suitcase and zipping it shut roughly. "I've made it a priority to try to talk to you at least once a day since you've been back, even though I am _buried_ in school work all the damn time, but you either take hours to respond or you just don't get back to me at all."

Brittany has absolutely nothing she can say to that, at least not anything that won't make this situation a whole lot worse, so all she can do is apologize.

"I'm sorry, babe," she sighs, holding her hand out for Santana to take and pulling her, however reluctantly, into bed with her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Sam, and I'm sorry I haven't been good with being available. It just... it's not the same. Sometimes just talking to you on the phone or in texts makes me sadder than not talking to you at all."

That one isn't actually a lie, not completely, and Brittany knows Santana will understand because that was why the distance broke them up the first time.

"We both have to try, Britt," Santana warns her her, and her softer tone tells Brittany she's not angry anymore. "This doesn't work unless we _both_ try."

"You're right," Brittany agrees; ready to promise her wife anything if it means they'll stop talking about Sam or the state of their relationship. "I'll try to be better, honey, I promise. I'm really sorry."

Santana nods and lets Brittany kiss her, thinking that's the end of it.

* * *

There's a three day gap between when Santana goes back to New York and Sam comes back to Lima, and it gives Brittany a lot of time to think.

Except anytime she tries to think about it all, everything just gets jumbled up in her head and she ends up feeling even more confused than ever.

But then her heart with flutter when her cell phone rings a certain way or she'll find herself wishing her best friend would just come home to her already, and then Brittany thinks maybe the problem isn't that she's confused about what she feels; it's just that she's too afraid to really deal with what those feelings _mean_.

* * *

Brittany is already waiting for Sam at his apartment by the time he comes home, and she can't stop herself from jumping into his arms the second he's out of his car.

"Whoa!" he laughs as he catches her, dropping his bags so he can hold her up. "Someone missed me."

"You're home," Brittany sighs into the crux of Sam's neck, her legs wrapping themselves around his waist in case he's even thinking about putting her down.

"I'm home," Sam promises back, not letting Brittany go.

* * *

A couple days later, when Sam asks her if she'll help him choreograph and teach a number for the New Directions to do at Sectionals, Brittany discovers that dancing with Sam is her _absolute favorite_ thing to do.

Sam isn't the best dancer, but the way he tries so hard is very endearing, and Brittany finds she can't stop smiling the whole time.

They're in one of the dance studios at McKinley after school, the music blaring loudly as they work up a sweat; Brittany demonstrating a dance move to Sam and then watching as he purposely does it all wrong just to make her laugh.

"Stop!" Brittany says between giggles, moving forward to still Sam's hips with her hands when he won't stop doing his infamous body roll. "Stop."

"Come on," he grins at her. "You know you love my moves."

"You love mine more," Brittany teases him and he certainly doesn't deny that. "Here, let me show you how to do a _real_ body roll." She takes Sam's hands and places them on her waist like hers were on his just moments before. "Feel the way my body moves," Brittany instructs him as she starts to move her hips, properly performing Sam's signature dance.

She doesn't realize just how close they are until she feels Sam's hardness through his sweat pants as she brushes against him, but it doesn't make her stop.

Instead, Brittany lets Sam pull her even closer, looking into his hazy green eyes as she rocks her front against his, over and over and over again.

And god, Brittany should really stop this, and maybe she would if it didn't feel _so damn good_.

"Can you feel me?" she whispers, their faces close enough that she's sure he can hear her over the music.

"Yes," Sam pants right back, and it makes Brittany's eyes drift down to his soft _soft_ lips and she doesn't even think about it before she closes the tiny distance left between them and finally kisses him again.

Brittany whimpers into Sam's mouth when his tongue licks into hers, and she thinks she might have just sunk to the floor right there and then if he wasn't holding her up.

It's not their first kiss, not by a long shot, but Brittany's sure it's their best one.

Sam tastes just as good as she remembers, like sunshine and strawberry bubble gum, and his lips are still as soft as clouds.

Brittany could just kiss Sam forever, and she probably would have if the studio door hadn't banged shut just as the song was changing, making enough noise to reach their ears.

"S-Sorry," she hears someone say behind them and Brittany pulls away from Sam like she's been burned. She turns around to find three of Sam's best students standing in the doorway, dressed down and ready to dance. "Are we early?"

Brittany covers her swollen lips with her hand and looks at her feet as Sam assures them they're not, telling them to go stretch in the corner furthest away from them before he turns back to talk to her.

"Brittany," he says lowly, but she shakes her head before Sam can say anything else.

"I can't," she says apologetically, panic quickly rising up her throat like bile. "I'm sorry, I can't, I have to go. I… I'm sorry."

Brittany doesn't give Sam a chance to plead any further before she grabs her gym bag and hurries out the door.

* * *

For the first time, Brittany is the one that calls Santana later that night and they end up having phone sex; it does nothing to alleviate her guilt when all she can imagine is Sam doing every dirty thing to her as her wife describes it.

Brittany keeps touching herself after she hangs up with Santana, pulling out her old vibrator and pretending it's Sam inside her as she comes moaning his name.

The tears come a little bit after that, as she fully realizes the weight of what she's done.

She knows it's been a long time coming and it probably isn't too late to turn back now, but Brittany doesn't think she could even if she wanted to.

* * *

More than anything, Brittany wishes she could have what she wants without hurting anyone.

Or, more to the point; Brittany wishes she could have Sam without hurting her wife.

Brittany loves Santana, she has since she was fourteen years old, but it's not the same as it used to be. She doesn't know when it changed or dimmed or whatever it did, but somewhere along the way, Brittany stopped being able to imagine forever with her.

She thinks it happened before she came back to Lima, when Santana's _forever_ became school.

Brittany doesn't resent it, she's proud of how hard Santana is working towards becoming a lawyer, but it's impossible to ignore the impact it's had on their relationship.

It wasn't Santana's fault, and it wasn't Brittany's either, it was just life getting in the way.

And then _life_ brought Brittany back to Lima and back to Sam, and maybe that had been the plan all along. Maybe this has always been where Brittany belonged.

* * *

The New Directions win Sectionals so Mr. Schue invites Brittany and Sam out to celebrate their victory.

"I wasn't sure if you'd come," Sam says to her quietly as they slip into their side of the booth.

She almost didn't, but almost a week without seeing or talking to Sam proved too much for Brittany's heart to bear, and she's just so tired of fighting this.

"I wanted to you see," Brittany admits with a small smile before turning to greet her old teachers.

It's just dinner at Breadstix, but it feels so grown up, and with her and Sam on one side of the booth and Will and Emma on the other, it also feels so much like a double date that Brittany allows herself to pretend it is.

She lets Sam order for her and even pay for her meal and Brittany holds his hand under the table the entire time.

* * *

Sam drives them home. Or rather, back to his apartment.

He doesn't ask, but Brittany would have said yes if he did, so she's happy he took the initiative.

Sam offers her coffee once they're inside, but Brittany kisses him instead, long and hard and sweet.

"Just so we're very clear on what I came back here for," she explains when she pulls away, tugging Sam towards his bedroom by his belt loop.

They just kiss for the longest time; Sam laying on his back and Brittany comfortably on top of him. She can feel him through his pants, but there's no reason to rush.

Sam is the one that takes the first step, one hand wandering from Brittany's back around to her front. He slips it under her shirt to touch her abs, feels them strain under his palm before he moves it further and further up until it's under her bra.

Brittany moans into Sam's mouth as his fingers fumble with her nipple, pinching and then rolling it just the way she likes; happy to know Sam hasn't forgotten her body after all these years.

It makes her move her kisses from his lips to his neck and then his chest once she's got his shirt unbuttoned. Brittany licks a path across Sam's smooth pecs and takes one of his cute little nipples into her mouth to show him that she remembers just what _he_ likes, too.

The foreplay lasts forever, but neither Brittany or Sam mind. It's been years since they've been together like this, and both want to take their time getting reacquainted.

Sam undresses Brittany first, getting her naked and then laying her out flat on her back so he can settle between her legs. He kisses up her inner thighs, getting her all worked up so that she's dripping by the time he gets to where she wants him.

He licks through her once, then twice; lapping up every drop she has to offer. Brittany tastes just the same as she always did, and she looks the same, too, her blue eyes all dark and fluttery as she tries to keep them open enough to watch Sam's blonde head between her thighs.

Sam's facial hair feels kind of weird against Brittany's bare sex, but it's a good weird; a weird that feels like _Sam_. And when he latches onto her clit, pushes two fingers inside her and curls them just right, it all feels the same to her as she comes.

Sam gives Brittany's flushed pink flesh soft kitten licks as she comes down, not stopping until she asks him to. Then he kisses up her quivering stomach, between the valley of her breasts, until he gets to her lips; slipping his tongue past them and into her mouth so she can taste herself.

When Brittany rolls them over a minute or two later and undresses Sam slowly, admiring every bit of skin as she reveals it like she's opening a present, she only stops long enough to slip off her wedding band and place it on his nightstand before she takes him between lips.

Sam looks like he's doing a body roll as he arches off the bed and into her mouth, a real one even, and Brittany can't stop watching him as she works his shaft. Sam's body is just so beautiful, all lean and chiseled in all the right places, and it reacts to her ministrations like an instrument.

Brittany plays him with her mouth and her hand like she's a trained expert even though she hasn't done it in years, building him up up up until she has to stop before he blows the note.

Brittany settles onto Sam once he's tuned and ready, sinking down and taking all of his cock inside her with surprising ease. She lets out a breath once she's settled and falls into his chest, letting him wrap her up in his arms and roll them over again.

"Look at me," Sam whispers, hovering above Brittany and nudging her nose with his. He waits until he can see blue before he starts canting his hips.

Brittany moans Sam's name when she feels him move inside her, reaching up to cup his face and hold it still so she can keep looking into his eyes. She's almost overwhelmed by the intimacy of it all; connected so completely with Sam in that moment that she could almost cry. Brittany can't remember the last time she had sex that felt like _this_.

She pulls him down for a kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders so every part of her naked body is pressed completely against his.

Brittany starts rolling her hips up to meet Sam's thrusts, pulling him deeper into her, and it almost feels like they're dancing, the way they move together.

"Sam," Brittany moans into his mouth when she starts to get close, her heels digging into him as her body braces itself. " _Sam_. With me, come with me."

It happens just a few moments later; Sam burying in deep and letting go as Brittany clenches tightly around him. They throb and shake together, clinging to one another as warm thickness spills out of Sam and into Brittany, pooling deep and seeping into her core.

* * *

"I love you," Sam confesses later, when they're long done and cuddled together. He's soft inside Brittany now; still.

Brittany's eyes flutter open so she can look at Sam and her lips tug into a lazy sleepy smile. "I love you, too."

* * *

Brittany knows she should have told to Santana after the first time she and Sam had sex. Well, she should have told her what was going on way before that, really, but _for sure_ after that.

And she _definitely_ should have talked to her after the second time they have sex, or third, or fourth, or like, at least the _tenth_ , but by the fifteenth time Brittany has sex with Sam, it's getting so close to Christmas and even more importantly, Santana's exams, and she can't tell her then.

Especially not when her parents decide her mom is up for the trip down to Sante Fe after all, and they leave the house to her for Christmas break.

Brittany has to lie to Santana some more and tell her she's too sick to come back to New York like they planned, but spending a whole week alone in her house with Sam is worth the little bit of extra guilt.

* * *

"You know, it's kind of our anniversary," Sam muses as they walk down the snowy street holding gloved hands. "The day we got pretend married," he elaborates when Brittany doesn't react.

"Oh yeah," she grins as it all comes back to her. "I remember that. Well, I remember the four days _after_ that a lot more than I remember the actual wedding, but…"

Sam groans a bit at her teasing, thankful they're so close to home. "Well, we _do_ have your house all to ourselves for the next fourteen days. What do you say we have us a second honeymoon?"

"I say…" Brittany begins, stopping Sam in the middle of the street for her answer. "I'll race you back home and whoever wins gets to pick what we do first."

Brittany takes off towards her house just as she finishes, but Sam doesn't mind being a loser just this once.

* * *

They play naked Twister first, which Brittany wins, and then naked Candyland after that, which is more Sam's game.

Then they make dinner naked and have sex in the kitchen before they move to the den and pass out cuddling naked on the couch while watching reruns of True Jackson VP on Nick at Night.

That's how Santana finds Brittany and Sam hours later, when she sneaks in to surprise her supposedly sick wife for Christmas.

* * *

Brittany tries to talk to Santana for days, but she won't take her calls.

She wonders if this is how shitty it felt for Santana all those time she ignored her.

Sam tries his best to comfort her, but every touch and every kiss he gives her just makes her feel that much worse.

Santana finally picks up on Christmas Eve, but doesn't say anything when she answers.

Brittany swallows when she realizes she's actually going to have to say something to her wife, and she reaches for Sam's hand to squeeze it tight.

"I know it's probably not worth a whole lot, but I'm really sorry," she starts, getting an encouraging nod from Sam. "I'm sorry for hurting you like that, and I'm sorry that you found out the way you did. I was a total coward for not telling you myself sooner. I just… I didn't want to hurt you. Which was silly, I know, because now you're, like, _super_ hurt, but…"

"How long?" Santana asks suddenly, and it throws Brittany off.

"How long what?"

" _How long have you been fucking Sam_?" she asks again and the pure hate in her voice makes Brittany's eyes water.

She could lie, tell her that what she walked in on had been the first time, but what would be the point? Brittany doesn't want to lie anymore.

"A couple of weeks," she tells Santana in a wobbly voice; she's trying really hard not to cry. "We slept together a couple of weeks ago, but there were feelings before that."

"Since before I was there for Thanksgiving?"

Brittany squeezes her eyes shut for a moment and then looks over at Sam; her sweet, beautiful, perfect Sam. "Since the first day I got here."

Santana hangs up and Brittany rushes to the bathroom to puke.

* * *

Brittany and Sam's Christmas is sombre, but at least they're together.

They exchange the gifts they had already gotten each other before everything went to shit and they make love by the fire place almost all day long.

It's actually kind of perfect, all things considered.

* * *

Santana texts a couple days later, saying she's ready to talk again.

It's only the second biggest surprise of Brittany's day.

* * *

Sam cries when Brittany tells him, sweeping her up into his arms and spinning her around.

"Are you serious?" he asks once he puts her back down, taking her face in his hands.

Brittany has tears in her own eyes too and all she can do is nod before Sam kisses her senseless.

* * *

Sam offers to go with her to talk to Santana, but Brittany knows this is something she has to do on her own. So she kisses him goodbye and heads over to the Lopez house, probably for the last time.

Her in-laws don't seem to be home, thank god, and Santana answers the door before she even knocks, holding it open for her to come inside.

Brittany ducks her head and wanders into the living room, waiting for her wife to follow.

Santana only needs to take one look at her to know.

"You're picking him," she says hollowly, and it sounds so final considering Brittany didn't even realize there was still a choice to make. She made it a while ago.

Brittany swallows past the lump in her throat and forces herself to look Santana in the eyes when she answers her; she owes her at least that much. "Yes."

"Why?" Santana asks, and Brittany feels foolish for ever thinking she wouldn't make this even harder than it needs to be. "What does Sam give you that I don't? Why… Why don't you ever choose _me_?"

Her voice breaks and Brittany has to physically restrain herself from trying to hug her. Everyone thinks Santana is so tough; she's the only one that's ever really known how fragile she can actually be, and Brittany hates herself so much for being the one to hurt her this badly.

She can't answer Santana's question, because it's not that simple. All she can give her is the truth.

"I'm pregnant."

Her words suck all the air out of the room, and Santana looks like she's going to be sick, like the reality of what's happening is just _finally_ hitting her.

She wobbles a bit in her spot, enough to make Brittany think she might faint for a second, before she pulls herself together again.

Brittany waits for the yelling and the screaming and the cursing in Spanish, but all she gets instead is watery eyes and soft pleas.

"Please don't leave me," Santana chokes out in the tiniest voice and it surprises Brittany so much. With anyone else, it might seem pathetic, but with Santana, she just seems so very vulnerable. "Please."

It breaks Brittany's heart. "Santana…"

" _Please_ ," she begs again, stepping closer to Brittany to take her hands. "I don't, I don't want to give up on this, on us. We're… We're _us_ , Britt-Britt." Santana squeezes Brittany's hands so tightly as she shakes her head. "We can do couples counseling, I can put off next semester and come be with you here, I… I will raise this baby with you, and love it like I love every other part of you." Santana is close to sobbing now, almost doubling over. "I want to try, Britt. I didn't try last time, I just gave up and I don't want to do that again. We can get through this, _we can_."

Brittany breathes through her own tears as she gently pulls her hands out of Santana's so she can reach up and cup her wet cheeks.

"We could get through this," she agrees in a whisper, nodding as she wipes away some of Santana's tears with the pads of her thumbs. "If we both tried, we could. But, honey… I don't want to."

Brittany doesn't say it to be cruel, not at all, but she has to be honest. After all the lies, she can't tell anymore.

Santana's face crumbles as her sobs finally come, and she's so broken that she actually lets Brittany hold her as she finally falls completely apart.

* * *

Santana calms down a little while later, enough to be able to talk about it properly before they say their goodbyes.

They sit on the steps of her front porch like they used to in high school, enough space between them to really feel it. It's not as awkward as it could be, but still every bit as painful.

"Does Sam know?" Santana asks softly, her voice neutral.

Brittany's not sure if she's asking about her choice or the baby, but either way, the answer is the same. "Yeah. He knows."

Santana hesitates before she asks her next question, wrapping her arms around herself in preparation for what she's going to hear. "If you weren't pregnant…"

"We'd still be here," Brittany answers gently, watching Santana's reaction with apologetic eyes. "This isn't about the baby, Santana. This is about what I want, and who I love." She pauses for a moment, debating whether to continue, but thinking maybe it's what Santana needs to hear. "I love Sam _so much_ and I wanna be with him. We're gonna to be a family." Santana nods and bites back her tears, flinching away from Brittany's touch when she tries to put her hand on her shoulder. "I didn't plan for it when I came back here, I swear. It just happened. I'm-"

"Can you just go?" Santana cuts her off abruptly, not even able to look at her wife. She's not trying to be mean, just trying to protect herself. " _Please_."

There's so much more Brittany wants to say to Santana, but if she doesn't want to hear it, she can respect that, too.

Brittany wordlessly pushes herself to her feet, taking one last look at Santana as she pulls an envelope with signed divorce papers out of her purse. She places them on the porch where she was just sitting beside her wife, then she places her wedding band there, too.

"Goodbye, Santana," Brittany says softly, not waiting around long enough to hear Santana say it back.

* * *

Santana goes back to New York sometime the next day, and outside of a couple secondhand interactions throughout the divorce proceedings, it's a very long time before Brittany hears from her again.

According to her Instagram, Santana eventually starts dating Dani again, and if all the pictures she posts of them kissing and cuddling are anything to go by, it looks like they're very much in love.

She thought it would hurt, at least a little bit, to see her ex-wife move on, but if Santana loves Dani even half as much as Brittany loves Sam than she's happy for her. It feels like everything is back in its right place now, Santana in New York with Dani and Brittany in Lima with Sam. It's funny to think that they had it right all those years ago, but it just got all messed up there in the middle for a little bit; like Brittany and Santana's marriage was just a small interlude in the bigger story of their lives, something that was never meant to last, or maybe even happen at all.

It's weird to not have Santana in her life in at least some way after so long, but Brittany's heart is so full with Sam and their growing baby that she doesn't even leave a hole.

* * *

Brittany's parents are surprised but supportive of the drastic turn her life takes; they've always just wanted her to be happy.

And she is happy with Sam, happier than she can ever remember being, and her happiness just grows bigger every day.

She goes into labor at the very end of summer, Sam right by her side; she has a beautiful baby boy that looks just like his daddy.

Mr. Schue promises her she has a job teaching dance waiting for her at McKinley when she's ready for it and they move into a cute little house with the baby, just a couple streets over from her parents.

Sam proposes to Brittany for a second time six months after their son is born. He saves up for almost a year to get her the prettiest ring in Lima and he gets down on one knee right there in their kitchen to ask her if she will spend the rest of her life with him. She was already planning on it, but they both cry when she says yes, anyways.

They get married in the park; it's a small but beautiful ceremony and their son looks very handsome in a tux.

A band around their fingers doesn't magically mean they're guaranteed to be in love forever, she knows that better than anyone, but Brittany Evans has a nice ring to it and she can't imagine ever getting tired of the way her heart skips a beat everytime she gets to calls Sam her husband.

It's not the life Brittany once imagined herself having, but she's pretty sure it's better.

Brittany thinks everything is better with Sam.


End file.
